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Posts Tagged ‘peace’

Sorry for not having updated as often as of late. I really do love blogging, but for the time being, there’s only a few things that I’d be willing to share about my personal life. I’ll just say its been an interesting week, and I’ll leave it at that. 😛

But in lieu of sharing the details of my personal life, I don’t mind sharing about my spirituality. These past few days has been a complex mix for me. There arises a tension of sorts between the stillness of my own heart and the disturbance of another. My world is shalom; his erratic. I find that it is in my stillness and in the light of God’s protection that I am able to keep sanity, to keep from sinking into my own cynical thoughts. And for that, I am grateful.

But this shalom is not cheap because I find myself wondering at the tension between logic and emotions. Logic tells me what is reasonable, how I should act and what would be for my best interest. But my heart, oh my heart, it speaks of a different note altogether. It tells me to do things and risk things that I might not otherwise do. I live as a divided man, a mixed bag of conflicting parts. I want to be whole and “one” with myself. And in those times, I find that in looking upward, I am able to set my mind and my heart both on God. And the two meet in perfect union and accord, without any tension, because in that love both my heart and my mind lay undivided.

So, I ask do you ever find yourself fighting yourself? What do you do in those instances? Which do you prefer to listen to or act on and why??

“As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.”

-Psalm 42:1-2

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.”

-Psalm 63:1-8

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Wow, it’s weird that I haven’t posted. Don’t I get paid to do this? 😛

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Heb. 4:14-16

In trying to find some measure of peace in my life, to regain my sanity, I turn myself to God’s word. There is comfort here knowing that my God will never leave me nor forsake me. I wish at times that I were heartless and that I was impervious to pain. But that is simply not true. I am what I am, and I know that my humanity is something to be cherished. This makes me appreciate the work of the incarnation of the Christ all the more. He, as God, decided to become man in order to fully give himself to man. He felt the extremities of emotion, he had friends and connected with people who he ministered to, he felt the limitations of the human body. He was all and completely human.

I am drawn back to Christ’s temptation in the wilderness. There, he faced a spiritual warfare that we cannot fully comprehend. His body was weak with hunger from the fast, he was alone and exposed. Perhaps this is a foreshadow of what he would face at the garden of Gethsemane. Satan tempts him three times, pushing him to use his divine authority to make food (note later his miracle of multiplying fish and bread), to call upon the angels to his side, and to claim his rightful place as King. To all these temptations, Jesus chooses to have faith in God and persevere. We all have been tempted and knows what it is like to face these things. Yet, the height of his temptation we can barely conceive. We often think that these things would be easy for Christ because he was born without a sin nature and because he is God. Yet, we often overlook the fact that we often cave into our own temptations far before the temptations have become the most severe. The one who has resisted these temptations has faced a trail far greater than we because Satan would have pushed him as far as he could. Jesus was tested to extremes that we cannot comprehend because we would have given in far sooner than he. And, as we know, the temptations become harder — not easier — the longer they endure.

Jesus fully identifies with man and what it means to be human? It seems an absurdity to think that God would want to do that… but he invested himself into us, even into death on the cross. In light of God’s holiness, are sins are glaring. Yet, he died for all though we were criminals in his sight. How many of us would die for someone who is rightly charged guilty of murder? But this is like what Christ gave for us. As it is written, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:6-8). How incredibly powerful and moving.

Thus, I gain comfort in knowing that my God can identify with me, that he has chosen to do so for the zeal of his name. His love is so beyond what I can comprehend, and it is this love that I run to when I feel abandoned or lonely or lost. God’s faithfulness will not fail, and I have confidence that when I call, he will be there to answer. It is in light of this truth that prayer is profound and necessary for our lives.

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