Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

Thanksgiving post

Yes, I know I have not written in a while.  This I may discuss at some other point.  However, since gratitude is on my mind at present, here is a list of things for which I am thankful (a couple days late, I know).

I am thankful. . .

  • for God, the Father-Mother, mine, the only One who will forever be strength, love, breath, life, and caregiver to me.
  • for old friends who love me and are willing to be my support (Mico, Dan, Abby, Brad, etc).
  • for new friends who are receptive to me and who I have enjoyed getting to know (Mariella, David, Valerie, Philip, etc).
  • for being in Boston which has given me joy and freedom that I had not have previously thought possible.
  • for my family (and extended family) who puts up with a lot from me at times and loves me despite my flaws.
  • for the financial resources to be able to go to graduate school and to travel.
  • for finding Park Street Church and being able to connect with passionate Christians.
  • for my mistakes and rebellions against God, without which my relationship with God would not be as frank, meaningful, or dynamic.
  • for innumerable opportunities for reconciliation, restoration, and healing.
  • for my life and for living, because such things are joys in themselves.
  • for Tyler, however fleeting our friendship may or may not be.  He has been such a blessing to me.

Well, that’s all you get for now, folks.  Goodnight.

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sing a new psalm

Knowing my own weakness is just one of those things that has its ups and downs. I like that it gives a realistic understanding of who I am and what I’m capable of doing. It keeps me humble and looking to God. And yet, it is a wretched thing to know that you are not always what you want to be. I can’t always do what I want to do or have things the way I want it. Maybe my will is weak… or perhaps God’s will is so much stronger than my own. I wish… I hope… for, well, many things. But whether or not I get them, I am determined to be faithful to my loving Father who is always knowledgeable of my wants and needs and is much better equipped to give me those things if he saw it in his wisdom to grant them to me.

The Psalms particularly resonate with me during this season of my life. I don’t know if I’ve just gotten more emotional than I used to be, or if there is something particular about poetry that communicates things in a way that prose simply cannot. In any case, many of the psalms so poignantly speak to me. And through them, I see how others have spoken to God in both the good times of their life and in the more wretched times. I see how man fall and succeed, how we all face similar human conditions, how God’s love endures, how justice and righteousness should be worked out, how God listens to our prayers…

When I read these psalms, even when I do not fully understand them or relate to them, I have a sense of knowing. I know that God hears my voice, sees my afflictions, and is my redeemer. What more can I want or say?

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I am happy. If this sounds somewhat simplistic to you, it is. The sort of peace that I have been experiencing is truly inexpressible. It comes from a sense of simply knowing and loving, in finding joy in the fact that I live and breathe, and that this breath comes from God. The filling of my lungs with air make me think of God’s breath breathing in life for the first time into Adam. And I realize, I really like my life. There’s so much intrinsic good in it and in my relationship to my God. How can I ever give him enough gratitude for that?

Holy Father,
I thank you that you are Yahweh, the Creator, the Master, the Covenant-Maker. I thank you for the shalom you have been working into my life. I have peace even when everything and everyone around me may be in turmoil because I am founded in you. There is something great and special when your presence is so tangible that I can feel you and your holiness and your Spirit through creation, in the air, surrounding me. When I look at the stars at night, I know you have created the great expanse of the universe and that you can make even greater things, but that you chose in the midst of that to single out mankind to love. Why do you, when you don’t need us, still call us? I cannot understand that mystery of your love. I ask that you would give me direction for the next season of my life, and that in it, I will find an even greater love for you.

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