Posts Tagged ‘desire’

I get my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow morning. I am not looking forward to it much, but I would like it done sooner rather than later. Oh sigh.

I feel a bit out of sorts lately. I’m not quite sure why. It’s strange, a feeling of a slowness tinged with loneliness. It makes me a bit anxious… or restless. For what, I am not sure. It’s a little disconcerting at times, and the truth is that I want to want God more. I want to desire him greatly at all times. The reality is that I often don’t even when I wish to. Even knowing that nothing else will satisfy, I do still pursue those other things. But… the fact that I feel some sort of desire for a passion for him it is something. Maybe it counts for a whole lot more than I give it credit for. At least I have some sense of direction, and I know that direction is true and reliable.

How does something seem so near and far at the same time? It doesn’t make much sense. But I hope… I wait upon him and upon his Spirit.

“A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” ( For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”
– John 4:7-15

“After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”
– John 6:66-69

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What is the source of one’s desire? In searching the Bible, I have come across many instances where desire is addressed, some very good and others horribly bad (Biblegateway.com came up with about 150 hits on the word “desire”). In contemplating my own wants and hopes, I see that my desires come from many different sources which all become entangled with one another. Often, they are even conflicting. Sources such as the desires of your physical body, your emotional needs, your ego’s ambitions, your family and friend’s opinions, your society’s dictates… these should not be overlooked. Their influences exert themselves powerful upon us, and yet often go unnoticed. Or at least not examined critically.

To say that these desires come from various sources is not to make a value judgment on them. They are simply aspects of what I am contemplating as I think about giving over desires to God. These desires may or may not be good no matter where they stem. For instance, the desire to eat is a natural and correct physical desire, but it becomes corrupted with it leads to gluttonous eating at the expense of others and self. Likewise, the desire for a loving connection with one’s spouse is a good and natural emotional desire, but that desire becomes toxic when one pursues that desire despite abuse.

The line between the good and the bad can be fuzzy. Even after much seeking, the lines may not be as delineated as one would like. Therein we must put our faith into practice by pursuing God as our utmost desire. There are times when even to our good desires God may say no. Or he may simply tell us to wait. And yet, I can’t help but feel that when we put our desire of knowing God above all else, his desires become our own. That which went contrary to one another finds peace in submission to God greater will and desire. And in the union of man’s spirit with God’s Spirit, the desires shall meet in harmony. At least, that is the hope.

Psalm 73:24-26
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 145:14-19
The LORD upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.

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