Archive for June 28th, 2009

Sorry for not having updated as often as of late. I really do love blogging, but for the time being, there’s only a few things that I’d be willing to share about my personal life. I’ll just say its been an interesting week, and I’ll leave it at that. 😛

But in lieu of sharing the details of my personal life, I don’t mind sharing about my spirituality. These past few days has been a complex mix for me. There arises a tension of sorts between the stillness of my own heart and the disturbance of another. My world is shalom; his erratic. I find that it is in my stillness and in the light of God’s protection that I am able to keep sanity, to keep from sinking into my own cynical thoughts. And for that, I am grateful.

But this shalom is not cheap because I find myself wondering at the tension between logic and emotions. Logic tells me what is reasonable, how I should act and what would be for my best interest. But my heart, oh my heart, it speaks of a different note altogether. It tells me to do things and risk things that I might not otherwise do. I live as a divided man, a mixed bag of conflicting parts. I want to be whole and “one” with myself. And in those times, I find that in looking upward, I am able to set my mind and my heart both on God. And the two meet in perfect union and accord, without any tension, because in that love both my heart and my mind lay undivided.

So, I ask do you ever find yourself fighting yourself? What do you do in those instances? Which do you prefer to listen to or act on and why??

“As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.”

-Psalm 42:1-2

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.”

-Psalm 63:1-8

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